There’s something about knowing something is ending that makes me extremely sentimental, especially when it’s something that’s been going on for a long time. On occasion, I’m just done and walk away without looking back. Other times, I take pictures to remember as much as possible and try to fight back tears. Still, other times, it’s more of a celebration.
Today I’m celebrating. Closing a chapter in my book that’s been open for almost four and a half (long) years. Since this ending was more of a celebration, I was so giddy last night that Andrew probably thought I was crazy (or more crazy than normal).
When I put in my two weeks at Kohl’s, I really thought I’d be upset. However, other than feeling nauseated when I was figuring out what to type for the letter, I’ve been more relaxed than anticipated. I believe it’s good timing, because I’m at peace and happy about it. If only every decision could be like this, with no second guessing and over thinking everything. If every decision would cause such joy, life would be a lot easier.
As I made a mental note of every “last time” I did something, I realized perhaps I should have done this a while ago. I may have been holding on too tightly to something for security instead of trusting God would take care of me.
This job has definitely served it’s purpose. I learned a lot of life skills that will be useful in life. I can change a watch battery and take out links in watch bands. I can tell if something is real gold or silver. I can count money faster than most people I know. I can keep my temper when customers are ridiculous. The job helped pay for my car. Paid for our wedding. Paid for a lot of birthday and Christmas gifts. But for all the pros, there are also cons that probably contributed to my health, or at least didn’t make anything better.
It was here I remember coughing up blood.
It was here I over worked and under rested myself.
It was here my lung collapsed.
I stayed so long because they worked well with me, for which I am extremely grateful. But I believe it’s time to move on to allow more time for rest and to do the work I believe God is calling me to do – this.
My plan for my new extra time each week is to get a little more sleep, but not sleep in too much. Spend time reading, writing, learning, expanding in ways I couldn’t before. Who know what will happen, but I have a good feeling God has plans for this time.
I am praying that I don’t forget what this time is to be used for. I told my friend Leah I want her to fuss me if she finds out I am doing much more than what I have listed out here for me to do.
It will be an adjustment, but more space to breathe will be a blessing. More time to write will be a blessing. A less stressful weekend and beginning to the week will be a blessing. Getting to enjoy Sunday nights and rest Monday mornings will be a blessing.
I’ve been noticing God nudging at me lately to spend time with him in the mornings. Now I have two mornings free to do just that.
I quit a job to make space for Jesus and rest the way he has called us to rest. How can you make space for what God is asking you to do?