I recently shared about my last day working for Kohl’s. It was an ending, but it was also a new beginning that I was (and still am) happy about. I didn’t mention, however, was that evening was another new beginning, but in a much different way.
Andrew recently sold his truck. We used to joke that if he ever sold the truck, I was going with it because I love that truck in the most ridiculous way. I don’t believe I have ever been as attached to any vehicle as I am that truck. It’s not really something I can explain, but there was something about it. Perhaps it’s because I would watch Andrew drive it and come alive in a different way. It is vibrant and unique, he is vibrant and unique…and it’s the first vehicle he ever picked me up in, so there’s that. I’m slightly sentimental.
He sold the truck because it needed work and wanted to sell it before it lost more value since we could get another (less amazing) truck for a lot less money. We are also saving to buy a house, so having some extra money for a down payment is not a bad thing.
I agreed to sell the truck, but only because it was logical. The emotional side of me did not agree and the day he sold it I had a total meltdown and didn’t speak for a few hours. Funny how there can be such a disconnect between our hearts and our brains.
I wasn’t mad at Andrew, I was simply heart broken. I thought it was just hormones making me moody and it wouldn’t bother me again but no, it’s been four weeks and I still burst into tears when I think about it.
Consequently, every time Andrew found a truck he liked, I didn’t like it. He knew I had to approve of the vehicle to be able to buy another truck. Eventually he figured out maybe if he found another red truck I’d be a little more forgiving, so he somehow managed to find another red manual diesel truck.
I never said yes. I never said no. But I did agree to go with him to pick it up.
So, he now has a new truck and it’s not that I hate it, I just don’t love it the way I loved Big Red. I think upsets him and I hate upsetting him, but I’m not going to lie to make him happy, either. All because of a silly truck.
Change is a tricky thing. Sometimes, I can embrace change gracefully. The job change went amazingly smooth and I’m excited to start this next chapter of life.
Other times, I’m not so graceful or gracious and I get upset over seemingly ridiculous things.
Unfortunately, in life, things change whether we like it or not.
Thankfully, however, one thing will never change.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.Hebrews 13:8
God never changes even though jobs and trucks and people do. He is a constant and unmovable foundation who does not change and will not leave or break down or quit. I never have to fear losing him because he was here before the world was created and he will be after the world is destroyed.
In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth,Psalm 102:25-27
and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you remain;
they will all wear out like a garment.
Like clothing you will change them
and they will be discarded.
But you remain the same,
and your years will never end.
I use to have this verse on my bathroom mirror at my parents house. I remember taking it down when I was preparing to move out before the wedding. A lot changes in a little bit of time. Sometimes that’s scary and we don’t know how to handle it. Sometimes we are overly sentimental and it hurts us. No matter what, I can have peace and remember that God will never change. He has been and always will be here for us.