I’m currently writing about poems I’ve been writing during this time, a series of prompts called “Pieces in the Pause” by Indelible Ink Writers. To see more, see this post.
The second prompt of the first week was “Though the Days Are Long” and I am sure that resonates with a lot of us. I couldn’t help but think about the to-do lists everyone seemed to have, at least at the beginning of this, and my own list and how it differed from what I actually wanted to do. My to-do list looked a little something like this:
- Become more comfortable using my sewing machine
- Write a lot of blog posts and schedule them out
- Work on a lead magnet for a potential email list
- Clean the forever messy middle bedroom
- Clean my room so it’s actually usable
- Clean the whole house from top to bottom
- 30 minutes reading
- 30 minutes writing
- 30 minutes crafting (needlepoint, knitting, latch hook kit…)
- Physical exercise every day…or at least every other
- Play the piano at least 15 minutes
And so goes my to-do list. Maybe yours is similar? My want-to-do list looked more like:
- Eat (but I don’t know what because I don’t really want to cook)
- Read until I don’t want to read
- Be with Andrew as much as possible
- Watch Elementary with Andrew
- Avoid human contact with anyone else (I’m actually AMAZING at this)
- Write but not anything like…a blog post or a book. (My journal pages have been filling up quickly during this season.)
- Keep up with social media
- Don’t keep up with social media (it’s too much, especially right now)
And on it goes in a much less productive manner than my to-do list.
To be honest, I think as I’ve settled more into this, I’ve started getting better at my to-do list (or maybe I’m just finally bored enough). Maybe I needed to rest and do what I wanted to do so I could have the energy to do what needs done. Since I wrote that poem, I did clean up the middle bedroom (it’s not perfect but it’s better) and I used my sewing machine a few days in a row working on a project with some old t-shirts.
I have also found myself spending time in nature in my own backyard (or house, since I have some plants starting inside). I spent a whole afternoon outside working on things for my garden. I had been planning on doing a small garden this year before the virus hit, but I am even more thankful I wanted to do it now that we are unsure how this will affect food supply in the coming months. I’m reminded of the victory gardens of our past and I’m thankful I was a step ahead.
I could probably write a to-do list that never ends, but is our meaning found in our to-dos?
“And find we scroll instead of sleep”
During this time, it seems like everyone is either all about the social media or practically boycotting it because IT’S SO STRESSFUL. I fall on the IT’S SO STRESSFUL side most of the time but there are times I’ve been catching myself mindlessly scrolling and I have to try to stop myself.
“We make the most, or at least we try, but find we forget and time goes by.”
Am I the only one feeling like there’s so much I want to do that I can’t do anything at all as the days fly by while also dragging like crazy? No? That’s comforting.
“We stay together, eat together, laugh together, and survive together.”
I have loved getting to spend so much time with Andrew that I really don’t know what I will do when life gets back to “normal”. As I write this, he is actually at work for the first time in three weeks and it’s weird having the house to myself (and Mountain Pie, of course). This morning I felt like I had no idea what I was doing and was distracted by my phone since he wasn’t here but on the other end of the phone (and, to be honest, the youth group group chat was blowing up).
But now here I am, writing again so maybe it’s not so bad? (Or maybe I’m actually just talking to myself but instead of doing it out loud, I’m typing to you. Probably that one.)
“Though the days are long, time is short.”
I look back at the end of my day, week, and now I can even say month, and I feel like I haven’t done anything or gotten much of anywhere. Time is short and I struggle to make the most of it while focusing on not doing too much and getting run down. As a chronically ill twenty-two year old, I struggle between wanting to do all the things because I’ll never be this young again and knowing I can’t do all the things because if I don’t pace myself, one day of getting a lot done can mean one week of recovery. Finding the balance in between is hard, but I believe this season has helped me find a much better balance than I have possibly ever had.
I’m really good at starting something, but find I have a hard time finishing sometimes. I’ve been trying to celebrate the things I’ve finished or completed so I can see I am actually getting somewhere. Does anyone else have this problem? I should probably start a list so I can see all in one place how far I’ve gotten. (Another item for my to-do list? Probably. Maybe I’ll actually get this one done!)
It’s a strange time to be alive, but there is still good in it. I pray you’ll make the most of your long days and short time, no matter what that looks like. Taking an extra nap, spending more time reading, or cracking out all the house projects – they all count. Don’t tell yourself you aren’t doing enough, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone who looks like they have it all together online. I don’t think anyone has it all together right now, so make your own kind of new normal.
And thank you for letting me in to that new normal.
I wrote a post a while ago about not being enough, I hope it blesses you now.